I live on a sheep farm, this time of year is absolutely crazy on the farm. It's dawn till dusk every day and the farmer (my husband) is exhausted. He comes in for his dinner at night, has a 30 minute rest and then goes back out until it's dark. Last night he was really struggling to go back out, he was so shattered but there were 8 rams in the shearing shed he needed to shear. I told him to let them out of the pens and have the night off, but he said that their fleeces were dry and if they got wet again he would have to wait for them to dry out. Logistically he needed to shear them.
I am not able to assist him, no one in our family can shear except for him. I decided that the only thing I could realistically do to support him was to go and stand near him in the shed while he shore the rams. So that's what I did. When I arrived he had completed the first one and looked absolutely exhausted. He rested for a few minutes and we talked, then he brought the next ram out to shear "OH MY GOODNESS" The ram was nearly as big as he is, and he had a full coat of wool. The farmer knows how to hold sheep so they feel secure and expertly took the fleece off this ram so that he can be cooler in summer and grow his new fleece for the winter.
I stood on the side of the board watching, not contributing, just being present. I made comments about how big and healthy the rams looked and how glad they must be to have their coats off for summer. Logistically I did nothing, emotionally I know that I helped my husband get the rams shorn by providing him support and my presence when he had nothing left in the tank.
We love Virgin River and I promised that I wouldn't watch it until he could watch it with me. I drove us back to our house in the truck after we had put the rams out into a paddock and then waited for him to shower. I made him supper and then we watched the first episode together.
Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give is not wrapped in ribbons or adorned with glittering bows. It is your presence—undivided, intentional, and offered freely. At this time of year, when the hum of credit card machines seems louder than the hum of goodwill, I urge you to pause. Take your eyes off the shopping lists and think instead about how your presence could bring light to those you love. Who in your life needs support more than a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates?
For some, this ability to support others comes as naturally as breathing—a gift embedded deep within their being. For others, it takes conscious effort, a deliberate slowing down to truly see and feel what another person needs. Empathy, they call it. The ability to read the emotions of another and adjust your behavior accordingly. It is not just a personal virtue; it’s a social necessity, one we must embrace for the betterment of our families, our communities, and our workplaces.
Empathy, or social emotional intelligence, has its place in every corner of life. We need it to nurture and care for the people closest to us. We need it to sell, to inspire, to persuade. It is the unspoken bridge between hearts and minds, connecting us in ways words alone cannot. Yet, many find this bridge fragile or incomplete, unsure how to traverse it themselves.
And here is the liberating truth: social emotional intelligence is not reserved for the naturally attuned or the “people persons” among us. Like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and refined.
Building Bridges with Extended DISC
This is where Extended DISC profiling comes into play, offering a roadmap to better understand ourselves and others. It begins with the awareness of our own behavioral tendencies—the strengths we rely on and the blind spots we may overlook. Extended DISC breaks this down into clear, actionable insights, showing how different styles navigate communication, problem-solving, and relationships.
For teams, this understanding fosters unity. Imagine a workplace where individuals don’t just coexist but truly collaborate, each attuned to the needs and motivations of their colleagues. Empathy flourishes when we recognise that the “quiet thinker” processes differently than the “energetic doer,” and that’s okay.
On a personal level, this awareness fuels growth. Whether you are naturally empathetic or feel far from it, Extended DISC provides a foundation for developing the skills you need to connect, inspire, and lead. It’s not about changing who you are but about broadening your capacity to engage with others authentically and effectively.
Social Emotional Intelligence is the cornerstone of meaningful relationships and impactful leadership. If you or someone you know could benefit from learning about Social Emotional Intelligence please feel free to request my free EBOOK "Yourself and Your People"
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BSc.psychology
Diploma Professional Coaching
Certified Practitioner and Accreditation Coach Extended DISC ®
Blanchard Aotearoa NZ Affiliate
Marina is a coach, professional development expert, and facilitator who specialises in helping people and teams develop themselves so they can be the best version of themselves and conduct their personal and professional lives more effectively. Marina is based in Waiau, North Canterbury where she lives with her sheep and beef farmer husband and family.
Learn more about her HERE
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