Finding the Sweet Spot in Conversational Capacity
- Marina Shearer
- Mar 20
- 3 min read
One of the most common themes in my coaching sessions is the challenge of communication—specifically, finding the balance between saying too little and saying too much. In fact, 80% of the professionals I coach admit that they do not share important information with their colleagues, even when that information would be beneficial. On the other hand, the remaining 20% struggle with being too blunt, leaving a trail of unintended friction in their interactions.
Why is this happening? The answer lies in DISC behavioural theory. The majority of my clients are high SC profiles—introverted, thoughtful, and cautious. They avoid difficult conversations because they dislike conflict and prefer harmony. On the flip side, my DI clients—outgoing, energetic, and direct—speak their minds without hesitation, often without realising that their delivery is often too forceful and lands feeling like bullying on SC styles.
Both groups face the same core issue: conversational capacity. It’s not just about speaking or staying silent; it’s about communicating in a way that is clear, constructive, and respectful for everyone.
The SC Communication Challenge: Avoiding Necessary Conversations
SC-style individuals tend to be deeply considerate, reliable, and steady. Their natural instinct is to maintain stability, which often means they hesitate to share difficult feedback or speak up when something is wrong. They fear disrupting relationships and prefer to process information internally rather than engaging in direct discussion.
However, withholding information isn’t a neutral act—it can lead to misunderstandings, inefficiencies, and even resentment. SC's need to develop the confidence to share important insights, even when those conversations feel uncomfortable.
Tips for SC's to Speak Up:
Reframe the conversation as helpful, not harmful – Instead of seeing difficult discussions as confrontational, view them as necessary for team success.
Prepare your thoughts – Writing down key points can help build confidence before speaking.
Use gentle assertiveness – Phrases like “I think it’s important we discuss…” or “I want to bring this to your attention…” create a bridge for open dialogue.
The DI Communication Challenge: Too Much, Too Fast
DI-style individuals are fast-paced thinkers, and high-energy communicators. However, their directness can sometimes come across as abrasive or dismissive. They may be perceived as aggressive when they’re simply trying to be efficient.
For DI communicators, the challenge is learning to slow down, consider the impact of their words, and adjust their tone to foster collaboration rather than resistance.
Tips for DI's to Soften Their Approach:
Pause before speaking – A brief moment of reflection can prevent unfiltered, reactive responses.
Balance directness with empathy – Instead of “That won’t work,” try “I see the challenge with that idea—let’s explore another approach.”
Check for understanding – Asking, “How does that sound to you?” helps ensure your message is received as intended.
Finding the Sweet Spot in Conversational Capacity
Effective communication isn’t about being overly cautious or overly blunt—it’s about finding the middle ground where clarity and respect meet. Whether you lean towards SC’s quiet hesitancy or DI’s bold directness, developing conversational capacity means adjusting your natural tendencies to better serve the message and the relationship.
The goal is to communicate with clarity, courage, and consideration. Mastering this balance transforms workplace dynamics, builds stronger teams, and ultimately creates an environment where information flows freely and productively.
So, which side of the spectrum do you fall on? And what’s one small step you can take today to move towards the sweet spot of conversational capacity?
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DIRECTOR PROFILE Coaching Ltd
BSc.psychology
Diploma Professional Coaching
Certified Practitioner and Accreditation Coach Extended DISC ®
Blanchard Aotearoa NZ Affiliate
Marina Shearer is a seasoned leader, educator, and innovator with over 30 years of experience across various industries in New Zealand. Holding a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of Canterbury and a Diploma in Professional Coaching from the Southern Institute of Technology, she has dedicated her career to empowering others. As the Director and Extended DISC Master Trainer at Profile Coaching NZ, Marina specialises in certifying coaches and HR professionals, enhancing their ability to understand and develop talent effectively. Her passion for teaching and commitment to personal growth have made her a respected figure in the coaching community.
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